One of the most rewarding things I did this month was recording a podcast with my parents.
When I was a kid, I was very close to my dad. We watched football games, played cards and games together, and travelled around the world during the summer holiday. However, after I went overseas to study, I slowly drifted away from him, thinking his generation was outdated and wouldn't understand my ideas and thoughts. I talked with him less and less in frequency. Though I deeply love him, I don't know what to say.
My friend Steve launched an initiative, "Ask Dad 10 Questions," during Chinese New Year. The purpose is to record a deep and honest conversation with Chinese dads because, in general, Chinese dads hardly open up, not to mention to show their feelings and vulnerability. It's a great way to keep a family record and build a healthy father-daughter relationship.
I never thought my dad would agree to do so, but to my surprise, he agreed immediately and contributed hours-long conversation that made me laugh and cry so much. I realised that my dad knew me very well, and it was me who shut the door and didn't give him a chance to talk with me.
He followed my writings and social media channels and tried his best to keep up with my life. I was too stupid to put my dad in the conventional Chinese father stereotype and 'imagined' his life and behaviours. This conversation has shown me that the fading relationship can be repaired and rebuilt as long as I drop out of my arrogance and leave the door open.
Though everyone in my family is hype-independent and doesn't want to interfere with each other's life choices, it doesn't mean we don't need to talk and share our love through oral communication. During the Covid, I didn’t get a chance to visit my parents for more than three years. A crucial fact is there are fewer and fewer times for me to spend time with them in person based on the current situation.
Here is the podcast clip I did with my dad. He never verbally expressed his love for me, but I heard “I love you" in this recording. Towards the end of a session with my dad, my mom happened to overhear our conversation where I reminisced about our arguments when I was a teenager. She opened up about her emotions during those difficult times, offering her love and understanding.
Seldom does a drama capture the nuances of female friendship as authentically as this one does — the simultaneous love and resentment, the steadfast support during crises, and the subtle competition fueled by the desire to outshine each other.
My Brilliant Friend, a TV show derived from the captivating Neapolitan Novels, has secured its place among my favourite literary adaptations, telling a lifelong tale of a woman navigating friendship and conflicts, beginning with a chance meeting in a Naples primary school in the early 1950s.
Elena Ferrante, the enigmatic author behind this masterpiece, rebels against the prevailing male-centric narrative in literature. By narrating through the lens of a marginalized female character, she vividly portrays unbridgeable class divides, generational conflicts, the unequal treatment of women, intricate emotions within friendships, and the unique tapestry of Italian histories from the perspective of a Neapolitan girl.
Every class and race deserves a platform for their narratives, and it becomes our duty to share and preserve each other's stories. The Invisible Third Cultural Adult, the first English novel I crafted during the pandemic, offers a narrative from the viewpoint of a modern Chinese international student and immigrant, drawing inspiration from the work of Elena Ferrante.
What resonated deeply with me in this drama was the portrayal of the girls' hostility towards their mothers. Reflecting on my own childhood, marked by a strained relationship with my mother and the tendency to blame her for her absence, it wasn't until my maturation and embrace of feminism that I comprehended the challenges of motherhood and rejected society's unjust expectations. This transformation paved the way for the healing of our relationship.
A skilled author possesses the ability to articulate the ineffable, forging a profound connection with readers through their storytelling prowess.
During my time in China sorting through my old story collections, I stumbled upon a tale I once read in a magazine. It recounted the discovery of a monkey's paw by an elderly couple in a second-hand shop, said to grant three wishes with unforeseen consequences.
Intrigued by the opportunity, the old man wished for two hundred dollars. That very day, news arrived of their son's tragic accident at the factory, resulting in a compensation payout of exactly two hundred dollars. Devastated, they wept into the night.
In their desperation, the old lady wished for her son's return from the dead. Soon after, they heard a knock at the door, only to see a gruesome, broken figure outside. As the old lady rushed to welcome her son, the old man quickly intervened, whispering something to the monkey's paw. The door swung open to reveal nothing but a gust of wind.
As a child, this eerie tale taught me a valuable lesson: to tread carefully with my desires, as wishes often come with unexpected consequences. It served as a reminder that true freedom and success require sacrifice and diligence.
Always remember, there are no shortcuts in life.
Very nice historical meeting/moment of your family, parents. Of course, it is a given that your father loves you , it is a special bond the father daughter relationship. Just as powerful as the powerful mother son relationships. My mother passed away two years ago and I miss her. I would phone her every day, we would joke and discuss the latest family gossip LOL, and I would tell her what I would be doing. My mother was very optimistic person and always listened and would add useful insights. Though I miss talking to her, some days I remember her with a little sadness and think of all the things we use to discuss. it is these thoughts that are in my heart and makes me happy. Her life was a blessing to us all. I loved my father but not as much my mother LOL. As we mature we really should not blame our parents for any past emotional disagreements as we are constantly learning as we forge our lives. Just because fathers bottle things up inside does not mean they do not care. I am lucky to have a brother and sister and we all have different relationships to our parents. So it is excellent you father spoke to you ..and I just wonder what trajectory you life would of taken in the forking garden path of life if you had a sister or brother. :)
very good work camilla :)