Reflecting on my 13 years of living abroad, the journey wasn't always smooth, particularly in the beginning stages. Loneliness, anxiety, and an identity crisis became my constant companions.
Back then, to cope with these feelings, I turned to alcohol or found myself shedding tears late at night. This article mentions how I encountered widespread rashes, emotional breakdowns, and panic attacks, due to these struggles.
Recognising the signals my body was sending me through various symptoms, I decided to take a closer look at myself to find the “first principle” solution to these challenges.
I started doing exercises and changed my diet to improve my physical health. Additionally, I began meditating and reflecting through writing to take care of my mental well-being. Ultimately, everything comes down to self-awareness: Who am I? What really matters to me? What kind of life do I want?
Addressing these fundamental questions about oneself helps avoid getting entangled in a cascade of issues in work, relationships, and life stemming from this core problem.
Returning to our essence naturally resolves other problems.
In his book "Schopenhauer as Educator," Nietzsche elaborates on the uniqueness of each person, emphasizing the fear of societal judgment that hinders individuals from being themselves. The eminent philosopher Schopenhauer critiques the tendency to conform to others due to idleness and timidity, encouraging everyone to rediscover their authentic identities.
Nietzsche advocates self-discovery through deep introspection. Ask yourself these questions: What have you genuinely cherished thus far? What brings you joy? What instils a sense of purpose? Listing these aspects may reveal patterns, exposing connections that unveil your deeply buried true self.
Without taking the time to reflect on yourself amidst the busyness of life, you will never discover what truly brings satisfaction. Satisfying immediate impulses and desires may offer temporary joy but won't contribute to long-term happiness.
Considering my own experiences, adopting "solitude" and incorporating "journaling" into my routine are powerful habits that foster a thoughtful way of life with meaningful rewards. Being an only child, I had the privilege of having ample alone time, allowing me to read and write for the majority of my childhood.
As highlighted by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson in his renowned online writing program “Self Authoring," where I greatly benefit on my self-discovery journey, reflecting on the past aids in understanding one's true self, examining the present facilitates the evaluation of strengths and weaknesses, and contemplating the future through writing prompts reflection on genuine desires. Creating a meaningful life requires writing your own narrative.
Writing is a complex form of thinking that helps perceive issues and take corresponding actions. Putting thoughts on paper, exploring and listing clues, and connecting the dots can identify the causes of events. This process may take a considerable amount of time, but it is a necessary step to connect oneself with buried memories and emotions. Dr. Peterson's "Self-Authoring" activity is highly recommended for this purpose.
Imagine spending weeks or months addressing issues that have haunted you for years; the investment pays off. Liberating oneself from past burdens decreases stress, brings back a peaceful mind, and enhances self-awareness. Reflecting on the present and the future gives profound insights, allowing ongoing progress on the right path.
You might recall I wrote down “Flowism: My Philosophy of Living”, summarising my approach to life from over 30 years of experience. If you wish to take the time to reassess your life, you can refer to the following template:
Divide life into key periods, akin to writing an autobiography, classifying life into units or themes such as kindergarten, primary school, middle school, high school, university, etc.
Identify key experiences in each period, listing memorable events, whether positive or negative.
Analyse the causes of these events, understanding why some things went smoothly while others didn't.
Reflect on personal philosophy and values.
Additionally, you can try setting aside a couple of hours for a "Self-Auditing" session in your life. Start by preparing some sticky notes (you can use the digital notes tool too). Write down a wish on each note—these can be any goals or dreams you want to achieve, big or small.
Reflect during this process: Are these wishes and goals truly coming from your inner self? Or are they imposed by parents, society, or your surroundings? Are these dreams genuinely what you want to achieve? The entire process takes about a couple of hours.
Next, organize scattered goals and dreams by categorizing them based on themes. Common categories include career, health, love, family, and friendship, but it varies from person to person. In my case, the highest proportion falls under personal skills, such as mastering a language or a musical instrument and trying some new experiences. Categorizing reveals which themes are most important to you, and you need to invest time and energy in these areas.
Now, classify these goals and dreams based on a time frame:
A. Immediate or near future
B. Someday
C. Daily must-dos
For example, in Category A, I have the wish to "complete my third Chinese book," in Category B, "act in a stage play," and in Category C, "do CrossFit training daily." Mark A, B, and C next to each theme, and you can see the timeliness of all goals and wishes. At this point, you know where to allocate your time to accomplish those goals and fulfil your dreams.
Apart from building the document or article on
Philosophy and values of life
Dreams and wishes in life
Last but not least, here comes a third piece to complete the puzzle, thanks to Pieter Levels and Ryan Holiday's inspiration. Below is my example of how I usually spend my day to gain clarity about daily time allocation and routines, aiming to create an ideal day.
24 hours a day
7 hours for sleep = 17 hours remaining
1 hour for getting ready for a new day (journaling, dressing, coffee) = 16 hours remaining
2 hours for maintaining websites/social media channels + handling emails = 14 hours remaining
2 hours for outdoor walking or gym workout = 12 hours remaining
1 hour for grocery shopping or handling other errands = 11 hours remaining
2 hours for socialising with friends and family = 9 hours remaining
1 hour for mealtime = 8 hours remaining
3 hours for deep work = 5 hours remaining
1 hour reserved for unexpected events = 4 hours remaining
2 hours for reading = 2 hours remaining
2 hours for leisure time (usually watching sports or movies) = 0 hours remaining
Once you are clear about how you spend your time, you can reasonably arrange or replace the time needed for different tasks based on their urgency.
Time is the fairest and most manageable thing; many of us believe it's free and can be wasted casually. We even discuss how to "pass the time" or "kill time." However, every minute and second in the past reminds us that we are getting closer to death.
As Ryan Holiday often advocates the Stoic wisdom of "Memento Mori" (I've even tattooed it on my arm), "Let us prepare our minds as if we'd come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life's books each day. ... The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time." Our fate is unpredictable, and death can come at any moment.
To ensure each day serves you well, it's essential to plan and strive for an ideal day. The concept of an "Ideal Day" should be thoroughly explored and detailed. Avoid overly broad statements such as "My ideal day is staying at home without working" or "My ideal day is travelling the world," as they lack specificity and personal meaning.
Consider this example of my ideal day:
Start the day with 10-20 minutes of morning meditation
Devote an hour to exercise or a stroll in nature
Engage in deep work throughout the morning
Have a quality meal accompanied by a meaningful chat with loved ones
Spend the afternoon in writing, reading, or engaging in physical activities
Enjoy watching sports or a movie in the evening
Write a handwritten journal before bedtime
Engage in intimate human interactions in between.
Life is yours, not anyone else's. Sooner or later, you'll realize that it's impossible to please everyone, and there will always be those who criticize your motivation based on their perspectives.
Some will adore you, while others may dislike you. Some will appreciate your virtues, while others might misinterpret your words. It's essential to understand early on that living your life shouldn't revolve around meeting others' expectations. Instead, adhere to your own narrative to truly follow your bliss and embrace life.
Your life is shaped and fulfilled by you.
The world's one-of-a-kind brand is none other than yourself.
P.S. Here is my new tattoo as mentioned in my previous article :)
Wow amazing! Thanks a lot for sharing your poem and comment! Yep, I love cats and cats might be the reason I need to settle down haha! I love Shu Fa too! Will post some of my works in the future issue.
Hi Camellia,
Thanks for posting again you are a writing whiz !
Firstly, the tattoo looks great. In hindsight I should of guessed about football LOL your recent article for your love of the game... And cats ? you have not mentioned cats in your writing, as far as I can see that is, maybe I missed on a article.
Your reference to cats made think of a poem I wrote in my writing group - a year ago Some liked it, some didn't - who cares!
I am happy to share it:
Bastet
---------
Nicholas Poulios
You do not recall or utter her name
nor will you find it written on her CV;
no mentions in bullet point form,
her roaming days of commission
in Africa and Europe – those days
guarding grain silos are over.
She has re-invented herself.
She can be found in choice homes,
sitting on a Persian rug,
walks in stealth with lithe strides,
to poise and survey the household
then stares into space, -- at a distance,
you can not fathom or understand
heart thoughts or feelings;
she is a protector of realms
and knows her business blindfold.
Independence of mind and spirit
she commands fresh offerings
of salmon and low fat goats milk
and prefers these days human hands
to relieve an itch on her velvet hair.
This princess is not cut out to do
the indoor chases anymore when her eyes
catch a movement across the floor.
She gives the impression of interest
in her owner, reading his book
in a blue robe and calf slippers
as she lays on a rug by the fireplace
taking in all that she have achieved,
relaxed and confidant in her station.
How the tables have turned,
you wonder who keeps whom ?
Why are we surprised ?
If we have read her history,
It can be one thing only --
subtle feline power, worshiped
and respected through the ages.
Your template is very fascinating, thanks. I will see if I can adopt some of these practices into my creative process. As a multi-disciplined creative independent, I like flow, in a different sense though.
I prefer my process is not, or reminds of corporate work. I stopped working fifteen years ago, and like you I had to forge my own way, without the stress luckily, since I am an optimistic - take after my mother ( which is awesome !)
cheers
Nicholas
PS
I am happy that my Mandarin Teacher was impressed with my mandarin exams
I was encouraged to do more Mandarin studies in 2024.
During the year, I also did some introductory shu fa and ink painting. I loved it.
I am a natural my instructor says, class attendants said to me: are you an artist ? LOL
My teacher and class mates will or anise before Chinese New Year some social event.
Details are sketchy at the moment. I what they planned.
Hi Camellia,
Thanks for posting again you are a very knowledeable writing whiz !
Firstly the tattoo looks great. In hindsight I should of guessed about football LOL your recent article for your love of the game... And cats ? you have not mentioned cats in your writing, as far as I can see that is, maybe I missed on a article.
Your reference to cats made think of a poem I wrote in my writing group - a year ago Some liked it, some didn't - who cares!
I am happy to share it:
Bastet
Nicholas Poulios
You do not recall or utter her name
nor will you find it written on her CV;
no mentions in bullet point form,
her roaming days of commission
in Africa and Europe – those days
guarding grain silos are over.
She has re-invented herself.
She can be found in choice homes,
sitting on a Persian rug,
walks in stealth with lithe strides,
to poise and survey the household
then stares into space, -- at a distance,
you can not fathom or understand
heart houghts or feelings;
she is a protector of realms
and knows her business blindfold.
Independence of mind and spirit
she commands fresh offerings
of salmon and low fat goats milk
and prefers these days human hands
to relieve an itch on her velvet hair.
This princess is not cut out to do
the indoor chases anymore when her eyes
catch a movement across the floor.
She gives the impression of interest
in her owner, reading his book
in a blue robe and calf slippers
as she lays on a rug by the firepalce
taking in all that she have achieved,
relaxed and confidant in her station.
How the tables have turned,
you wonder who keeps whom ?
Why are we surprised ?
If we have read her history,
It can be one thing only --
subtle feline power, worshipped
and respected through the ages.
Your template is fascinating, thanks. I will see if I can adopt some of these practices into my creative process.
As a mutli-disciplined creative independent, I like flow, in a different sense though.
I prefer my process is not, or reminds of corporate work. I stopped working fifteen years ago, and like you I had to forge my own way, without the stress luckily, since I am an optimsitic - take after my mother ( which is awesome !)
cheers
Nicholas
PS
I am happy that my Mandarin Teacher was impresed with my mandarin exams
I was encouraged to do more Mandarin studies in 2024.
During the year, I also did some introductory shu fa and ink painting. I loved it.
I am a natural my instructor says, attendant said to me: are you an artist ? LOL
My teacher and class mates will organise before Chinese New Year some social event.
Details are sketchy at the moment.